| "Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, | | | | know in my being that |
| butaround in awareness." -- James Thurber | | | | I influence it all, and now find myself considering |
| "Like a fish suddenly made aware that it is | | | | why Icreated a situation, rather than saying, "why |
| swimming in water, Ifound every aspect of my | | | | me?" Thisheightened awareness directs me to |
| perception changed." Author Unknown | | | | look inside of myself foranswers. I take |
| How many of us live in a state of real | | | | responsibility for all of it, and theinteresting puzzle |
| awareness? Mostof us are aware of outward | | | | becomes a fascinating challenge when I decideto |
| feelings. We to often go about ourlives never | | | | influence areas of my life in which I previously |
| going much deeper than what we see and feel on | | | | believed Iwas not in control. I now feel that I |
| thesurface. We are aware that we feel anger at | | | | control it all." |
| someone orsomething, or that we have a worry | | | | One of my favored quotes on this subject is |
| or fear of some coming eventor circumstance. | | | | from George Bernard |
| But how many of us live in the awareness | | | | Shaw. "People are always blaming their |
| andunderstanding of where that anger, worry or | | | | circumstances for whatthey are. I don't believe in |
| fear really comesfrom. How many of us really go | | | | circumstances. The people who get onin the world |
| deep enough to be present enoughand in touch | | | | are the people who get up and look for |
| enough with our emotions to understand what | | | | thecircumstances they want, and if they can't find |
| makesus act and react the way that we do? | | | | them, makethem." |
| Websters Dictionary defines awareness as: on | | | | So how do we develop the necessary character |
| ones guard,vigilant, knowing or realizing, conscious | | | | to make ourcircumstances instead of allowing our |
| or informed. To beaware implies having a | | | | circumstances to make us? |
| knowledge of something throughalertness in | | | | Emmet Fox tells us that "you can build any quality |
| observing or in interpreting what one sees, | | | | into yourmentality by meditating upon that quality |
| hears,feels, etc. Consciousness implies awareness | | | | every day. If you seemto yourself to be lacking |
| of a sensation,feeling, fact or condition etc. and | | | | in certain necessary qualities, if yourcharacter |
| recognition or focusing ofattention on | | | | seems to lack strength, ask God to give you |
| To be consciously aware of what is really causing | | | | what youneed - and He will. When we get in |
| us toact and react the way we do takes a | | | | touch with our Authentic or True Self, we will find |
| willingness to explore theinner self and discover | | | | we already posses everything we need to be |
| the inner beliefs that are causing us tofeel and act | | | | everything we aspire to be. |
| the way we do in a present situation. It takes | | | | And that's worth thinking about. |
| awillingness to be aware on a deeper level. | | | | In Postscript to this we have a saying out west |
| For years, I have struggled with finances and | | | | "COWBOY (or |
| feelingsof lack. I felt I was a victim of outside | | | | COWGIRL) UP" For me that means, "get over it |
| circumstances. In mybusiness endeavors I would | | | | and get on withyour life! Its time to move into |
| progress well, then something wouldhappen, | | | | our true Purpose and leave thepast behind. |
| something seemingly beyond my control. As I | | | | Sheri Bardo / Life Coach |
| begangoing deeper on a quest to discover who I | | | | < |
| really was, I learnedthat I was sabotaging my | | | | SELF ESTEEM |
| own financial success and prosperity. | | | | Self Esteem, how does one find it, low self |
| I sat in meditation one morning asking why. When | | | | esteem, howdoes one get it? |
| I hadneed of things and especially if I had a desire | | | | Esteem: (definition according to Websters |
| why was therethat catch in my heart that just | | | | Dictionary) to value,appraise, estimate, to have |
| couldn’t believe it would beprovided or that | | | | great regard for; value highly;favorable opinion, |
| I had what it takes to succeed beyond | | | | high regard
|
| theordinary. Suddenly a picture appeared in my | | | | To have low self esteem is to not value, or have |
| mind of me at 2 1/2when my mother died. It | | | | highregard for yourself. People with low self |
| was sudden and unexpected, a blood clotto her | | | | esteem never feelin charge of their own lives. |
| heart. When it happened, I was kept separated | | | | They often feel like victims. They feel like |
| from theprocedures, the grieving, the funeral, and | | | | outsiders, leftout, unimportant, etc.. However low |
| life with my fatherfor some time afterward. I | | | | self esteem has two faces. |
| was sent to my grandparents whilemy father | | | | One is the personality that seems to always be |
| sorted through his life. I realized I had formed | | | | the underdog, theunder achiever, the negative |
| abelief that I didn’t matter or my father | | | | one, the one who says I can’t, |
| wouldn’t have sent me away to | | | | Icouldn’t, I shouldn’t, I have to. The |
| mygrandparents when I need him. These beliefs | | | | other face is the personwho seems very |
| of course were nottrue, but with my limited | | | | confident, a take charge type of person, very |
| experience of life and knowledge, Icame to | | | | incontrol, very opinionated, positional, and often in |
| believe them. | | | | leadershippositions. All of this bravado is still a face |
| Without even realizing it I had formed a belief that | | | | of low selfesteem. This type of person, may |
| I was notworthy of the best, worthy to have | | | | exhibit any or all of thesetraits: when things go |
| what I really wantedbecause I wasn’t | | | | wrong, wants to eat other people alive,or is a |
| important or my dad would have wanted me with | | | | perfectionist, demanding, and self centered, |
| him. | | | | can’t takecriticism, instruction, or direction, |
| When I returned home 3 months later from my | | | | is very independent andself sufficient. They may |
| grandparents, mydad had a new wife with grown | | | | be in leadership positions, and yetnot be true |
| children who had children my age. | | | | leaders. This type of low self esteem will |
| I felt I had been replaced and I felt like an outside. | | | | oftendeny that anything is wrong, because |
| This wasmy perception as they did not treat me | | | | thinking they are in chargeis their protection, yet |
| like an outside. My | | | | truly being in charge of your life,eliminates anger, |
| Father never was emotionally available to me as I | | | | irritation, the desire to control others. |
| grew up anddied a few years ago without us | | | | When a person truly esteems themselves, will |
| ever having been close. Iformed a belief that my | | | | take 100% responsibility |
| needs were not important or he wouldhave | | | | For their own lives. They let othersmake decisions |
| wanted to have a meaningful relationship with me. | | | | for themselves without trying to be in control,and |
| I knownow it was his perception of life and | | | | let others be responsible for their actions. Life |
| himself that kept him froma relationship with me, | | | | livedright is a delicate balance, and we all need help |
| it was not really about me. | | | | maintainingthis balance. What is the face of true |
| To add to my mis-beliefs, I formed the beliefthat | | | | self esteem? Those withtrue self esteem are in |
| no one could be trusted. My stepmother was | | | | charge of their lives. They take 100%responsibility |
| demanding, attimes critical, manipulative and guilt | | | | for everything that happens in their lives. |
| producing. I formed thebeliefs that I was not | | | | Ifrelationships are not working in their life, they |
| important, that love had to be earned andwas | | | | ask, what isit in me that is attracting this type of |
| conditional , and that it was assumed that I would | | | | person or what am Idoing to create this situation, |
| do thewrong thing. Because my parents, were | | | | instead of blaming the otherperson,
if only |
| not able to acceptme for who I was because of | | | | they would, or could do this or that. If |
| who they wanted and needed me tobe, It | | | | theirfinances are not what they desire, they ask |
| re-enforced my earlier false belief of not being | | | | what can I do tochange this and they tap into |
| important or goodenough. None of this was | | | | their creative, intuitive side todo this. They do not |
| intentional on behalf of my parent,for they were | | | | waste time saying, there is never enough,if only I |
| doing the best they could with thebeliefs they had | | | | had a better job, if only, if only. They set |
| formed as children about themselves and lifejust | | | | aboutdiscovering why this is presently their |
| as I had done. | | | | situation. True selfesteem values itself, it says, I |
| We form false beliefs about ourselves as children | | | | can do, I can have, I can makemy life what I |
| wecarry them into our adult life. Once I made the | | | | desire it to be. |
| connection tothese beliefs, and realized they were | | | | Think of the Cartoon, Winnie The Poo Eore has |
| a created reality and not truth,my financial | | | | no self esteem,he expects things to go wrong |
| picture began to change. Mybusiness shot forward | | | | and they usually do. Tigger onthe other hand, |
| with new energy and creativity. In fact myvision | | | | bounces through life, always hopeful, always onan |
| and dreams took on new dimension and solidity. | | | | adventure, even when his friends try to pull him |
| Irealized my dreams were possible, and that it | | | | in, he justsees the bouncy side of things. He |
| was OK to dreambig. | | | | exasperates those who needtotal order, or |
| One must go within and uncover these false | | | | control. Tigger is truly, just Tigger. Heloves his |
| beliefs in orderto be set us free from a limiting | | | | friends just as they are and even grouchy old |
| belief system that will onlyhold us back. Inside | | | | rabbitcan’t dampen his spirits. I love Tigger, |
| each of us it unlimited creativity, beauty | | | | though I certainlyhave had my Eore moments! If |
| andcapacity for living a rich full life in love, peace | | | | you get a chance, watch thecartoon or read a |
| and joy. | | | | Poo book. See who you identify with and |
| The only way out is through | | | | whoirritates you
. |
| Robert Frost | | | | This week try and be aware of the times you |
| Sheri Bardo / Life Coach | | | | feeluncomfortable, depressed, discouraged, |
| | | | irritated, frustrated,out of control, or the flip side, |
| MOVING FORWARD | | | | very independent, selfsufficient, (don’t |
| "A person only begins to become the person he | | | | need any one else, I will do it myself, noone else |
| wants to be whenhe ceases to whine and revile, | | | | can do it right), opinionated, critical, positional,and |
| and commences to search for thehidden justice | | | | ask yourself, where am I not valuing myself. |
| which regulates his life." | | | | Start ajournal. Keep track, start to be responsible |
| I had to look up the meaning of the word revile | | | | for your life andyourself, find creative intuitive |
| because I'venever seen it used. It means to | | | | ways to make changes, yourinner self knows |
| condemn, despise, berate. Ididn't have to look up | | | | what it needs. Read a book on selfimprovement, |
| the meaning of the word whine - in fact | | | | take a class, find a support group, get a coach!! |
| I'm sure some of my friends have sometimes | | | | Get in touch with your true self which is perfect |
| wanted to ask me if | | | | in every way. |
| I "wanted some cheese with that whine?" | | | | Your true self esteems who it is because it |
| When we whine and revile we give power to that | | | | knows it was createdperfect by a perfect |
| which we revileand whine about. We cease to be | | | | creator. It is the false self that findsfault in who it |
| in charge of our life. I lovethe way that Wayne | | | | is and lacks self esteem. Finding your Authentic |
| Dyer describes it in "You'll See It When You | | | | ortrue self is the only adventure you can’t |
| Believe It." He says, "I no longer view the world in | | | | afford to miss in life. |
| terms ofunfortunate accidents or misfortunes. I | | | | |